Christmas is over already?! But I'm still in the mood for Christmas songs and gifts and parties! Sigh. Guess I wasn't wrong when I said that time has been passing way too quickly.

I spent Christmas Eve counting down with the family and relatives:


And on Christmas Day itself, I caught Alvin and The Chipmunks 2! Heh, it was so cute I wouldn't mind watching it all over again :)

This hasn't been the best Christmas I'd admit, but it wasn't that bad either, come to think of it. I expected myself to spend the past few days partying and getting wasted, but I did the exact opposite - staying home to spend time with the family, and catch up on sleep/ rest. It's quite relaxing, really.

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On a more depressing note, today's the last day I get to enjoy this good life. Work starts tmrw at my uncle's agency. It's not exactly a job I'm completely unfamiliar with, which is to my benefit because I don't like stepping out of my comfort zone. But I'm starting to feel that having to wake up early for a job that doesn't really pay that well isn't all that worth it. Sigh. Well, at least I'm only gonna be doing this for these few months, until my sister's back from maternity leave... Let's just hope these few months will pass as quickly as time has passed this entire year!

Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. 'I'm okay' we say. 'I'm alright'. But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you can't get it off. That's when you realize that sometimes it isn't even an answer - it's a question. Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced.

I just want you for for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

Time's been passing way too quickly. In roughly 20 mins' time, it'll be Christmas Eve! Then Christmas, then 2010! Last I remember, 2009 just started. Hmm.

Anyway, I got a new phone today!


It's the LG GD900 Crystal Phone! Seriously, how can anyone resist the transparent keypad!? To be honest, I didn't wanna get this phone initially. But it's really quite pretty, and it definitely beats the HTC phone I was previously using hands down, so I'm contented :)

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Sigh, I was supposed to gym yesterday, but I ended up meeting Dennis then heading to triplets' house for mahjong. I only won 40cents btw. Wtf. I was supposed to gym today too, but I was held up at the phone shop, so I didn't. I feel so guilty. And to top it all off, I've been eating (and will continue to eat) like a motherfucking pig... So much so that I don't even dare step on the weighing scale now. Sighhhh.

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Talking to you last night was somewhat like a revisit to the past. A good two to three weeks of not communicating with you at all, and when I finally did, I had to have you tell me that what we had was insignificant and unimportant. As if it all meant nothing to you. I won't say that I haven't started to move on. I have. But you left such a great impact in my life that it's made me wonder if I've already lost the capacity to love.

That being said, I have no reason to be unhappy with how one particular person's been helping to make things a million times better for me. Take for example yesterday, when I was feeling so angry, so upset, so frustrated... In short, so fucked up. All it took was one phone call and a few texts to let me know that there's someone who cares, and there's someone who's willing to help... And I felt a lot better instantly. This isn't exactly the best example, but you get my drift.

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I truly hope the next few days won't be disappointing. This year has been a very demanding one, and all I want now is for it to end well. Tmrw's gonna be a busy day, but I already know it's gonna be a good day! To whoever's reading this: Have a very blessed Christmas! :)



P.S: Posted this last year, and I'm gonna post this again because it's one of the most meaningful quotes I've ever read...

The thing about Christmas is that it makes one want some sort of companion; a kind of need to not be alone.
For some, like Valentines, it holds the same meaning - it can be Christmas any day, as long as you're with the companion you want.
Without, nothing's the same anymore.

- Colleen @ deadthrattle.lj

I passed my BTT :) very very relieved, although there's still FTT and the Practical Test... But I really think I'm fucking awesome to be able to pass despite only sleeping for 6 hours the night before (since I need a minimum of 8 hours of sleep everday). Heh!

Brief summary of what's been happening:

Friday

• Arena with Sam and her friend, Lyone, Leon and Royston
• Two teq. shots + Leon's vodka bottle
• Got home at 3am (!), surprisingly early for someone like me who used to club on Fridays and Saturdays consecutively till 6 in the morning

Saturday

• Stay home Saturday! Only because someone asked me to stay home for him (I know you're reading this - please be honoured!)
• The relatives came over in the evening

Sunday

• Part 2 of X'mas shopping!
• Satisfied my cravings for sushi finally!!! :D
• Walked till my legs felt as if they were gonna break
• To Haji Lane for shisha and beer
• Ended the day feeling absolutely contented and happy, thank you - for Ah Girl, and for everything ;)

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I just realized I now have a lot of X'mas presents to wrap... And I suck at wrapping presents, sigh. But that doesn't make me look forward to X'mas any less!

Will blog about my 2010 resolutions sometime soon I hope. Till then :)


P.S: Another reason why I'm feeling so good today is 'cos I saw Bestie at SSDC today, she gave me a nice warm hug which came as a huge surprise, but which really put a smile on my face. Words can't even explain how glad I am at that little gesture. Love you Best.

Again, it's past 2am already and as much as I'm physically exhausted, I'm still mentally very much awake...

(It's 3am now btw, I procrastinated typing this post for awhile)

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Today was a really nostalgic day. I talked to X sometime in the afternoon, not gonna comment on how the conversation went but let's just say I feel a little more comforted about my past. Not that we talked about anything in particular, but I guess it's always good to remain friends with people whom you've once loved and lost, no?

After shisha at Haji Lane a few hours earlier, Royston drove Hendrick and I home. The journey was an excruciatingly painful one. It wasn't that the company was exceptionally bad or anything like that, but the route he took reminded me so painfully of you. Truth be told, I was very affected. I considered texting you, but I couldn't - not after I'd violently demanded that you get out of my life.

It wasn't a rash decision to have told you that; I know for a fact that I need you out of my life before I can get a grip on myself instead of continuing to remain hung up. But it's such a tough decision to keep to. I got home feeling even more wounded tonight, although it was a great night with equally great company.

I ended things because it was the right thing to do. I asked for you to get out of my life, also because it was the right thing to do to prevent myself from falling for you all over again. But I came to realize that all I was doing was indulging in foolish mind games with myself. My heart disagrees with my mind's decision, and that's what makes the whole process of moving on so impossible.

Keeping myself busy everyday, going to bed everyday exhausted and devoid of energy... It's all nothing but a mere form of deception. Deep down I know that I still cannot let you go, deep down I know that I'm still capable of breaking down if I allow the thoughts of you to fully consume my mind.

It's past 2am now on a Tuesday, in approximately 15 hours it'll be baby Keira's one week of entering this world. Everyone's still all hyped up and getting used to having a baby in the house, and I have to admit that it's been a really pleasant week. I guess I've said this countless times, but it's really a joy (amidst all the frustrations) having her around :)

More pictures of the lil' princess taking her very first bath:


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On Saturday, I accompanied Leon to his friend's place for a BBQ :) it was a fun night: there was gooood food, mahjong, Guitar Hero, poker (which I didn't play), a lot of drinking, and a disappointing Man U vs Aston Villa soccer match to end the night. While waiting for the match to start, we played five-ten, with the loser having to down half glasses of Chivas, neat. They later decided to add mixers, but it didn't really help much 'cos the Chivas filled like half the glass!?

So by the time the match started, people were falling asleep and puking (HAHAHA actually only Dennis puked!). Btw, I was the only girl there out of all the guys, so you can just imagine the raging male hormones. Shall let pictures do the talking...



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I got home only at 4am, and clean forgotten about the JCM calendar launch that I was supposed to attend, until my mom reminded me about it at lunch on Sunday! Thank goodness Lyone's always up for anything, so I texted him and he agreed to come along with me. He was dressed so smartly, I think this is the first time I've seen him actually looking good. HAHAHA. But to make it clear, we're way past the stage of falling for each other and all that, just in case people start getting the wrong idea...

Most of the pictures I took are with the official photogs, so I don't have any with me. It was a pretty awesome event though, there was free flow of red wine/ Long Island Tea/ beer, so Lyone and I took advantage of it and drank a fucking lot of red wine. Got home half drunk, at 8pm. Heh.

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Gymmed with Ethel earlier on at Bishan, I feel satisfied because I've been starting to gym regularly, and I know that if I can keep this up, I'll be able to lose some (if not all) of the fats I've gained over the months! Awesome.

The relatives came over to visit Keira in the later part of the evening, then Royston came to pick me for supper at around midnight. It feels a little strange addressing him as Royston; four years ago I knew him as Rong Xian. Hmm. But it was a nice catch up session, he kinda made me think abit about going back to TKD, and now I'm torn between the choice of whether I should continue to pursue netball or TKD. Sigh.

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It's been a fulfilling weekend, and I hope this has been a fulfilling post :) really thank God for times like these that help me to inch forward day by day, and not remain rooted to the past. I still miss you, of course I do. I told you I wanted you out of my life but there are days where I still think of you a lot... Even on busy days like today. Beats me why I'm typing this out to you, hoping you'd read it when I already told you not to visit my blog. I'm really dissatisfied with you and how you've screwed things up, yet at the same time I can't help thinking of you. It's really like taking one step forward and two steps back... But I'll be fine. I know I will be.


P.S: Thought about putting up my Christmas wishlist (as has been the tradition for past years), but I figured that it'll be pointless. Probably not gonna be getting any gifts this year anyway, I've been too naughty, and not nice at all. Oh well.

Having a baby in the house really changes everything. Baby Keira came back home yesterday, and now she's become the princess of the house. When she cries, the whole family panics. When she sleeps, everything is done silently and the TV volume is turned down so that we wouldn't disturb her. But nothing beats night time. Last night she cried from 3am to 6am, and no one had a good night's sleep. Sigh.

Still, I'm gonna flood this space with her pictures because she's just so adorable! It's a joy just watching her sleep :)



Doesn't she just make you go "awwwwwwww"!? HAHAHA. That being said, I'm still insistent on not helping her change her nappy. Heh. It's quite sad that everyone calls me an aunt now. Makes me sound so old...

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Hmm, what's been happening... Su's brother's wedding was a really sweet affair, finally met up with the TKD people whom I haven't seen in ages! :) then in the evening it was to Shangri-la for Dad's birthday dinner. Speaking of which, my parents have now been promoted to the title of Grandparents! :)

Gymmed at Tampines with Su and Ethel yesterday, it's been such a long time since I worked out and now my whole body's aching. But t'was good, really. I desperately need to lose weight before the 19th and 20th... So I've decided that I'm gonna gym as often as I can next week, and workout everyday at home! Not like I'm gonna be able to lose a significant amount of weight by then, but well... At least I'm trying!

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It's Friday but it doesn't feel like it... Maybe because I'm too tired to even think about partying. Honestly, there're so many people in the family but everyone's so busy with work and all. Sigh. To a certain extent, I actually feel like the baby's mother...

Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay.
Sometimes, change may not be what we want.
Sometimes, change is exactly what we need.
And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible.
Sometimes, change is too much to bear.
But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

Because there really is nothing very interesting about my life, the only thing that I can blog about is my baby niece!



Meet little Keira Chia, born on 081209, 5.02PM, at Gleneagles Hospital :) she was only 5.14 pounds when she was born! Very tiny baby, but cute nonetheless.



More pictures on FB :)

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I had a really nice talk with Bfff and Rena last night till nearly 3am. I love how talking to them always gives me an epiphany... Which I don't think I'll mention here. But anyway. I was so grateful that they actually stayed up to listen to my rants, talk to me about my problems and tried to help by advising me on what I should do, I couldn't help but repeatedly tell them how thankful I am for them. And then I realized that I was probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but perhaps that's only 'cos it's been awhile since I've seen real people and true friends... Hence today's Wordboner, which also carries a hidden meaning which I suppose only the two of them would understand.

These are the people I know I will remain true to for life. Not just Clarabelle and Rena of course, the rest of you know who you are. There may not be many people whom I'm close to, but I think I'm contented with what I've got. :)

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I might update my LJ with more private content that I don't think the world needs to know about, but that's only if I've got the time to. I reckon I'm gonna be a lot busier now that the baby's finally born. Today's schedule: Bring Jenny down for a walk, bring soup to the hospital for sister, gym with Ethel in the evening. Sigh, and I didn't even get enough sleep last night. So much for wanting to sleep in, I got woken up by Jenny's whines outside my room door. Well, time to accede to the requests of Princess J who's currently waiting at the door with a longing look on her face...